It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
