i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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