I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she peed on how many people?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
