just come out here and I will go home with you...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
