yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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