I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Less talking, more tequila
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
