We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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