Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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