at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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