you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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