Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
