I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
