Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Randomize
