I wanna passion pit in your ass
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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