I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
