he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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