I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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