just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
