it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I don't think brook has ever known best
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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