please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
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