New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i wish my penis had a tongue
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I don't deserve a penis
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize