woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
