I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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