Don't you send me to vm
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
