Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
