you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
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So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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