I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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