I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
