wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
