i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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