Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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