I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
