i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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