We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
