My balls are so social today.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
