I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
