and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
