is your mom at the bar?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
