Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize