Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
