friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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