we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
