The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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