I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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