would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
