so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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