i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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