You're my little dorito
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize