Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i permit you to call me
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
