what day is it and did you see me today?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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