I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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