haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
