Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
