it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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