I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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