Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Randomize
