Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
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No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
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I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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