CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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