oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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